Yael is an intelligent, warm young Jewish mother who lives in a country under a Muslim regime. She grew up there and that’s where she feels at home. At some point after her first birth there, she figured out that she did not want to have her second baby in a regimented and medicalized hospital system. Her first birth, in the hospital, three years prior to our meeting had been, in her words ‘a traumatic nightmare’ and had taken her years to recover from. She had left the birth with no emotional attachment to her newborn daughter and just survived each day for months until gradually she sought out and received the help she needed to recover from her trauma.
Yael decided that if she were going to bring another child into the world, it would be in the community setting, in a calm and loving environment. Unfortunately, in her home country, home birth is illegal and so she was forced to seek out options further afield.
When Yael first contacted me in mid-pregnancy, with a foreign WhatsApp number, I was sure something fishy was going on. But trust was built gradually and she decided she wanted to birth with me in Israel. Yael was taking a prenatal class in hypnobirthing and was learning intensely about relaxation during labour and letting her body do the work of birthing. She was incredibly empowered by it and I knew she’d have a better experience this time because of it. She did the required prenatal tests that I asked her to do. Everything looked healthy and her pregnancy was progressing well. We met over zoom and immediately hit it off, bonding in that special midwife-client way. Yael planned to come to Israel to stay with relatives before she started her ninth month. The journey was long and arduous, but she made it here. We had agreed that she would deliver in my birth centre as she didn’t have anywhere suitable to birth where she was staying.
We finally met in person in the birth centre when Yael was 37 weeks pregnant. Yael and her husband drove out to Kochav Hashachar where I am located, and we spent a couple of hours getting to know each other and discussing her preferences for the birth. She reiterated her desire to feel that she was the one giving birth and not that the baby was wrenched out of her by an impatient doctor. We planned a gentle waterbirth. I also listened in to the baby’s heart rate, checked his position and gave an estimated fetal weight of 3.4kg through feeling her baby with my hands on her abdomen. Then I checked Yael’s blood pressure. Everything was perfect.
The weeks went by and we were in touch by phone regularly. When Yael’s due date came and went, she attended post-dates checkups at the hospital and everything was thankfully fine.
At 41+5 weeks, on a shabbat, Yael called to say she was having some mild and well-spaced out contractions. I said it was probably too early to come and we discussed how she was feeling. We decided to check in again in another couple of hours, or earlier if there was significant change. I took a nap after the shabbat meal and soon after Yael called again saying that the contractions were stronger and about 5 minutes apart and that she and her husband were on their way.
I was honestly anxious that they wouldn’t make it in time as Yael sounded like she was in serious labour over the phone. Happily, the journey would be fast as there was little traffic on shabbat. Meanwhile I walked over to the birth centre and started filling the pool. Yael arrived, and after I listening to the baby’s heart rate, she changed clothing and hopped into the warm, deep pool of water. Her relief was immediate and she stayed there for the rest of the birth, changing positions often, but finding that sitting with her back against the inflated pool wall was the most comfortable for her. Listening in at intervals reassured us that her baby was coping well with the labour. At one point, her contractions became so intense and overwhelming that she asked me to check her cervix. I was happy to announce that she was almost fully dilated and the increased intensity was due to transition. Shortly afterwards, her waters broke in the pool and Yael gently breathed her baby out with just a couple of pushes at the end.
Such joy and relief washed over Yael’s face as she realized that she had achieved her goal of delivering her baby on her own terms. I was so delighted for her that all her intricate planning had borne fruit. Resting afterwards in bed, her newborn son latched well and I began the process of emptying the pool and writing the notes. After a few hours, a local doctor came to visit and check on the baby and then the couple and their new baby were ready to go home.
Unfortunately, Yael’s recovery wasn’t as straightforward as her delivery had been. She had a couple of awkward labial tears which could not be sutured and they were extremely painful for her. We got hold of a special homeopathic cream that helped.
On day two postpartum I came to visit Yael and her new baby at her relative’s home. The first thing I noticed was that the baby looked the colour of a carrot!! Without panicking anyone I went through the meeting and checked Yael and her newborn. Yael was healing well, but still in pain. Then I mentioned the matter of jaundice and the baby’s orange colour. The couple agreed to bring someone to the house to measure the bilirubin level. To Yael’s dismay, the baby’s bilirubin levels indicated serious jaundice which necessitated a hospital visit. Although reluctant to go, I explained the severity of the situation and later that day the couple headed off to hospital. Their little baby endured tests and treatments for what also turned out to be a urine infection. Which was the cause and which was the effect was not clear. The jaundice and infection were both treated and after 2 difficult days and nights, mum and baby came back home.
It was a rough postpartum period, but Yael was happy with her birth choices. When a mother hires a midwife, she has someone there to check that everything is ok and to refer her on if there is a problem. I don’t often see serious jaundice, but in this case, it was very clear and I am glad that the baby received the crucial treatment he required.
When women like Yael come to my birth centre from so far afield, it makes me immensely proud that I have a safe space for them to birth in and gives me a ton of motivation to keep offering such an important service.